The Most Helpful 6 Words Anyone's Said to Me

"Crebar - you are shit at basketball."

A mate said that to me in year 7. It's been one of the most helpful 6 words anyone's ever said to me.

I'd just started playing and like anyone starting something new, I sucked at it.

Mum was a high-school teacher, so she'd drop me at school on her way to work. That meant I was there early, most mornings by 7:30am.

I'd head straight to the court and shoot hoops before class. Throwing bricks. Missing shots.

Some of my mates would be downstairs in the gym, lifting weights. When they finished, they'd come up to play and often finish with a 1-on-1.

A good friend of mine had been playing for a few years. He'd beat me every time.

Losing every morning was painful. I started wondering whether I should even bother.

Mum said what she still says today.

"Don't worry about it. You'll get better. Keep practising. We love you. You can do it."

I believed her. It's why I kept turning up.

Then one morning, he beat me again. And as teenagers do, he said exactly what he thought.

"Crebar - you are shit at basketball. You'll never be good. I don't know why you come here every morning."

Ouch.

I brushed it off in the moment, but deep down, it hurt.

I replayed that moment over and over again.

Hormones at their strongest. It brewed into rage.

I asked Mum to drop me off earlier. I trained harder.

I'd love to tell you it was pure passion for the game. It wasn't.

I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove I wasn't shit.

What rage built

I made the B's that year. Then the A's. Then the 1sts.

I kept putting in the work. In year 12, I was MVP of the team.

There were many people better than me. But I got good enough to make a name for myself.

I was the basketball guy. It became my identity.

Rage can be a powerful emotion. It can be your strongest asset or your greatest weakness.

Used badly, it makes you quit, lash out, or do something stupid.

Used well, it gets a kid to school earlier, morning after morning, for years.

A few months back, I went to our 20-year school reunion.

We got talking about high school and who everyone was back then.

One guy was the rugby guy. Another was the fastest runner. Crebar was the basketball guy.

Then the same mate, the one who told me I was shit, said something I didn't expect.

"I never had an identity. I was never someone. I wish I was known for something."

I was surprised. I'd never thought about high school that way, about whether you were known for something.

Then I felt for him. Twenty years later, it was still on his mind.

To me, he was known for something. He was a great guy and a great friend.

But I got his point. In our year, he wasn't the best at anything.

And I couldn't help thinking that the thing he was still looking for was the thing he'd handed me, without knowing it.

He triggered me.

"Triggered" has a bad name these days - but a trigger just sets something off. Where it goes is up to you.

A good teacher or mentor can support you. But the best ones trigger you. They bring out what was already inside.

Mum gave me belief. He gave me fire to put in even more work. I needed both.

Support keeps you going. A trigger can change you.

So next time someone makes you angry, don't waste it.

Turn it into work. With enough perspective, you'll thank them.